Operating systems and sandwiches

Ubuntu Linux: “You can have your sandwich any way you like, but recently we started wrapping it in this really ugly wrapper. Still yummy though, and you can ask for a different wrapper. But you have to ask”.

Mac OSX: “We only serve ham & cheese on white bread. If you don’t like it, go somewhere else.”

Windows: “Lettuce and lots of Mayo. $400. That will be extra for the ham, extra for the turkey, no, you can’t have cheese with it if you have turkey. Well, you can, but you’ll have to add mustard. You don’t like mustard? Tough. So the sandwich is dripping all over you and falling apart? You can buy a sandwich-handler anti-drip across the street. $40/ year. Sandwich too big for your hands? Get someone else to hold it for you. No you can’t make your own. If you do, I’ll have you arrested.”

Gentoo Linux: “Here’s a sickle. Go to the field outside town, and harvest some wheat. Then you will see a cabin. Go inside, there are five types of grindstones there. Grid the flour you like. Then add water, we can give you mineral water, stream water, or tapwater. We also have different types of yeast. Make your dough. Bake bread (we have fire brick ovens, electric ovens, gas, traditional Bedouin oven, and a new plasma-jet oven). What would you like? Chicken? Go kill one in the back yard, pluck it, gut it, and cook it. You can roast it, fry it, grill it, or boil it. All in all, you can have your sandwich in just under a week if you’re good at what you do.”

Puppy Linux: here is a cracker and a bit of cheese. Enjoy your sandwich.

FreeBSD: Like Gentoo, but we also have a 30-.06 if you want a venison sandwich.

Credit: Joe Shlabotnik, Flickr


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