Nobody knows you
With deepest apologies to the memory of Jimmy Cox.
EDIT: I got a couple of concerned emails. No, this did not happen to me. Yet.
Once I lived the life of a PI so rich,
Research was going along without a hitch.
Lab manager, four postdocs and grad students eight,
My lab took up the whole floor, and that felt great.
Five years later it all went to hell,
My renewal was declined, because no papers in Cell.
But I just read an RFA that is out,
I’m going to apply, and get it, without a doubt.
Nobody knows you,
when you lose your grant.
In your funding, not one penny,
and as for postdocs, I haven’t any.
If I ever get back on my feet again,
My department chair will not treat me with disdain.
It’s mighty strange, which is why I’m doing this rant,
Nobody knows you when you lose your grant.
Best version of the original, IMHO:
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