John Smith’s genome sequenced
Springville University’s Genome Center in collaboration with Prof. I. M. A. Bigschotte from IvyLeague University have announced that the genome of Mr. John Smith from Centertown, USA has been sequenced and is now available online.
Dr. James Williams, director of the Center said: “We were running out of things to sequence, but I still had a budget to justify before the end of the fiscal year”.
“This project will give us insights into the 99% of the population we care nothing about, and frankly, I would not want to meet” says Prof. Bigschotte. “I don’t even know where Centertown is”.
“Johnny graduated from the local high school, and now working at the KFC”. Said Mr. Smith’s mother, Mary, in whose basement Mr. Smith lives. “He cuts the grass and takes out the trash sometimes, but I really have to nag him to get to do something”. ”I wish he will just move out” added Mrs. Smith.
Mr. Smith, who may or may not start classes at the local community college this fall, was unfazed by his recently found fame. “Like, I guess it’s nice to have all this stuff online, but, like, I couldn’t get it to fit on my Facebook wall”, said Mr. Smith, while digging into a party-size bag of Cheetos.
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