<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?>
<rss version="2.0"
	xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/"
	xmlns:wfw="http://wellformedweb.org/CommentAPI/"
	xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/"
	xmlns:atom="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom"
	xmlns:sy="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/syndication/"
	xmlns:slash="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/slash/"
	>

<channel>
	<title>Byte Size Biology &#187; funny</title>
	<atom:link href="http://bytesizebio.net/index.php/category/funny/feed/" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml" />
	<link>http://bytesizebio.net</link>
	<description>The musings and ravings of a computational biologist about science, computers, music and, you know, stuff</description>
	<lastBuildDate>Thu, 02 Sep 2010 21:38:48 +0000</lastBuildDate>
	<language>en</language>
	<sy:updatePeriod>hourly</sy:updatePeriod>
	<sy:updateFrequency>1</sy:updateFrequency>
	<generator>http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1</generator>
		<item>
		<title>Changing directions</title>
		<link>http://bytesizebio.net/index.php/2010/09/02/changing-directions/</link>
		<comments>http://bytesizebio.net/index.php/2010/09/02/changing-directions/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 02 Sep 2010 21:38:48 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Iddo</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[funny]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[engineering]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[gears]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[video]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://bytesizebio.net/?p=4052</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[For some reason, this reminds me a lot of the way some of my research has been going recently&#8230;.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>For some reason, this reminds me a lot of the way some of my research has been going recently&#8230;.</p>
<p><object classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" width="445" height="364" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always" /><param name="src" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/3aobPgGzB-U?fs=1&amp;hl=en_US&amp;rel=0&amp;color1=0x234900&amp;color2=0x4e9e00&amp;border=1" /><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true" /><embed type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="445" height="364" src="http://www.youtube.com/v/3aobPgGzB-U?fs=1&amp;hl=en_US&amp;rel=0&amp;color1=0x234900&amp;color2=0x4e9e00&amp;border=1" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object></p>
]]></content:encoded>
			<wfw:commentRss>http://bytesizebio.net/index.php/2010/09/02/changing-directions/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Goat breath causes aphids to drop to the ground</title>
		<link>http://bytesizebio.net/index.php/2010/08/09/goat-breath-causes-aphids-to-drop-to-the-ground/</link>
		<comments>http://bytesizebio.net/index.php/2010/08/09/goat-breath-causes-aphids-to-drop-to-the-ground/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 09 Aug 2010 22:49:12 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Iddo</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Biology]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Ecology]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Evolution]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Zoology]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[funny]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[aphids]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[behavioral biology]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[goats]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://bytesizebio.net/?p=3953</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Some headlines just write themselves&#8230; It has been known for some time that an approaching large herbivore causes aphids to abandon ship &#8230;err plant. Makes sense since, after all, there&#8217;s not much of a point in staying on the particular bit of shrubbery that will be consumed, lock, stalk and barrel by a ravenous forager. [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><span style="float: left; padding: 5px;"><a href="http://www.researchblogging.org"><img style="border: 0;" src="http://www.researchblogging.org/public/citation_icons/rb2_large_gray.png" alt="ResearchBlogging.org" /></a></span></p>
<p>Some headlines just write themselves&#8230;</p>
<p>It has been known for some time that an approaching large herbivore causes aphids to abandon ship &#8230;err plant. Makes sense since, after all, there&#8217;s not much of a point in staying on the particular bit of shrubbery that will be consumed, lock, stalk and barrel by a ravenous forager. However, it was not exactly clear what in the herbivore causes the aphids to drop. Well, it is not the shaking of the twigs, as rustling the plant did not cause a substantial number of the aphids to drop. Rather, it&#8217;s the breath. The researchers had a human, a sheep and goat all breath on an aphid-infested plant, with equal results: the aphids dropped from the plant <em>en-masse</em>. But what in the breath causes aphids to do that? Well, it is not the CO<sub>2</sub> nor the air movement itself. Rather, the heat and the humidity of the breathing, as tested by Moshe Gish and his colleagues at the University of Haifa.</p>
<p><a href="http://bytesizebio.net/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/goat-breath.jpg"><img class="alignnone size-large wp-image-3956" title="Untitled" src="http://bytesizebio.net/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/goat-breath-653x1024.jpg" alt="" width="588" height="922" /></a></p>
<p>This is a great example of adaptation: after all, bush movement may be due to many different factors, including uninterested rodents and carnivores. Also, air movement can be simply caused by wind, including hot or humid air.  But someone breathing directly on you, hot <em>and</em> damp can only mean one thing to an aphid: abandon plant or be goat dinner!</p>
<hr /><span class="Z3988" title="ctx_ver=Z39.88-2004&amp;rft_val_fmt=info%3Aofi%2Ffmt%3Akev%3Amtx%3Ajournal&amp;rft.jtitle=Current+Biology&amp;rft_id=info%3A%2F&amp;rfr_id=info%3Asid%2Fresearchblogging.org&amp;rft.atitle=Mammalian+herbivore+breath+alerts+aphids+to+flee+host+plant&amp;rft.issn=&amp;rft.date=2010&amp;rft.volume=20&amp;rft.issue=15&amp;rft.spage=0&amp;rft.epage=0&amp;rft.artnum=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.cell.com%2Fcurrent-biology%2Fabstract%2FS0960-9822%2810%2900813-4&amp;rft.au=Moshe+Gish&amp;rft.au=Amots+Dafni&amp;rft.au=Moshe+Inbar&amp;rfe_dat=bpr3.included=1;bpr3.tags=Biology%2CBehavioral+Biology%2C+Ecology%2C+Zoology%2C+Agriculture">Moshe Gish, Amots Dafni, &amp; Moshe Inbar (2010). <a href="http://www.cell.com/current-biology/abstract/S0960-9822(10)00813-4">Mammalian herbivore breath alerts aphids to flee host plant</a> <span style="font-style: italic;">Current Biology, 20</span> (15) R628-R629</span></p>
]]></content:encoded>
			<wfw:commentRss>http://bytesizebio.net/index.php/2010/08/09/goat-breath-causes-aphids-to-drop-to-the-ground/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>And the best dinosaur is&#8230;</title>
		<link>http://bytesizebio.net/index.php/2010/08/06/and-the-best-dinosaur-is/</link>
		<comments>http://bytesizebio.net/index.php/2010/08/06/and-the-best-dinosaur-is/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 06 Aug 2010 19:58:50 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Iddo</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[funny]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dinosaurs]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://bytesizebio.net/?p=3947</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Not only the funniest, but also the best-informed rant on dinosaurs I have ever heard. OK, I only heard this one, but it cracked me up. NSFW language.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Not only the funniest, but also the best-informed rant on dinosaurs I have ever heard. OK, I only heard this one, but it cracked me up. NSFW language.</p>
<p><object width="480" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/4vSY_rB928c&amp;hl=en_US&amp;fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/4vSY_rB928c&amp;hl=en_US&amp;fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object></p>
]]></content:encoded>
			<wfw:commentRss>http://bytesizebio.net/index.php/2010/08/06/and-the-best-dinosaur-is/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Science as Middle-Earth</title>
		<link>http://bytesizebio.net/index.php/2010/06/26/science-as-middle-earth/</link>
		<comments>http://bytesizebio.net/index.php/2010/06/26/science-as-middle-earth/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 26 Jun 2010 18:53:36 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Iddo</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Science]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[funny]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[comics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[lord of the rings]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://bytesizebio.net/?p=3783</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[From Abstruse Goose. I like it that Biology is in Mirkwood, and that Bioinformatics is on the left bank of Anduin while CS is on the right. I would have put Botany in Fangorn (because of the Ents), Microbiology in the Sea of Rhûn for beyond it are &#8220;wide uncharted lands, nameless plains, and forests [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>From <a href="http://abstrusegoose.com/277" target="_blank">Abstruse Goose</a>. I like it that Biology is in Mirkwood, and that Bioinformatics is on the left bank of Anduin while CS is on the right.</p>
<p>I would have put Botany in Fangorn (because of the Ents), Microbiology in the Sea of Rhûn for beyond it are &#8220;wide uncharted lands, nameless plains, and forests unexplored&#8221; and machine learning in the Misty Mountains (close enough to Bioinformatics, statistics and Computer Science).</p>
<p>Also, if the social sciences are in Mordor, what does that say about Sauron?</p>
<p><img class="alignnone" title="Sure of our ignorance" src="http://abstrusegoose.com/strips/sure_of_our_ignorance.PNG" alt="" width="744" height="567" /></p>
]]></content:encoded>
			<wfw:commentRss>http://bytesizebio.net/index.php/2010/06/26/science-as-middle-earth/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>What is the function of a necktie?</title>
		<link>http://bytesizebio.net/index.php/2010/06/09/what-is-the-function-of-a-necktie/</link>
		<comments>http://bytesizebio.net/index.php/2010/06/09/what-is-the-function-of-a-necktie/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 09 Jun 2010 21:01:58 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Iddo</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[funny]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://bytesizebio.net/?p=3725</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[From a random bulletin board&#8230;]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>From a random bulletin board&#8230;</p>
<p><img src="http://bytesizebio.net/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/wpid-2010-06-09-16.59.49.jpg" alt="image" /></p>
]]></content:encoded>
			<wfw:commentRss>http://bytesizebio.net/index.php/2010/06/09/what-is-the-function-of-a-necktie/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Motivating people: the illustrated version</title>
		<link>http://bytesizebio.net/index.php/2010/05/21/motivating-people-the-illustrated-version/</link>
		<comments>http://bytesizebio.net/index.php/2010/05/21/motivating-people-the-illustrated-version/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 21 May 2010 22:21:11 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Iddo</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Art]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Economics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Film]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Psychology]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[comics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[education]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[funny]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[cartoons]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[management]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[motivation]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://bytesizebio.net/?p=3623</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[The art of motivating employees. Interesting insights and beautiful illustrations. Also, a good mention of the open source and collaborative content movements. Dan Pink &#8211; Drive]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>The art of motivating employees. Interesting insights and beautiful illustrations. Also, a good mention of the open source and collaborative content movements.</p>
<p><center><a href='http://kontraband.com/videos/22673/Dan-Pink-Drive'>Dan Pink &#8211; Drive</a></center><br/></p>
<div align='center'><embed height="380" width="480" flashvars="file=http://208.116.9.205/10/content/22673/450.flv&amp;height=380&amp;width=480&amp;displayheight=360&amp;displaywidth=480&amp;frontcolor=0xffffff&amp;backcolor=0x000000&amp;lightcolor=0xffffff&amp;plugins=gapro-1,/show/plugins/kb/kbsocial_1.swf&amp;gapro.accountid=UA-3505072-1&amp;gapro.trackpercentage=true&amp;gapro.tracktime=true&amp;gapro.trackcompletes=true&amp;gapro.trackdetails=true&amp;gapro.trackerror=true&amp;shuffle=false&amp;overstretch=false&amp;autostart=false&amp;repeat=list&amp;javascriptid=kbvideo&amp;enablejs=true&amp;customKb=true&amp;kb_engagement_url=http://kontraband.com/videos/22673/Dan-Pink-Drive&amp;kb_engagement_title=Dan Pink - Drive&amp;kb_contentid=22673" allowscriptaccess="always" usefullscreen="true" allowfullscreen="true" quality="high" name="kbvideo" id="kbvideo" src="http://www.kontraband.com/show/4.5.swf" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"/></div>
]]></content:encoded>
			<wfw:commentRss>http://bytesizebio.net/index.php/2010/05/21/motivating-people-the-illustrated-version/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Pixels</title>
		<link>http://bytesizebio.net/index.php/2010/04/25/pixels/</link>
		<comments>http://bytesizebio.net/index.php/2010/04/25/pixels/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 25 Apr 2010 23:08:35 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Iddo</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Art]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Film]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[funny]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[short movie]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[youtube]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://bytesizebio.net/?p=3492</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[For old-school geeks who spent the better time of their childhood prefecting their Space Invaders and Donkey Kong skills. A NYC disaster movie meets&#8230; well, something. Hat tip to Mickey.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>For old-school geeks who spent the better time of their childhood prefecting their Space Invaders and Donkey Kong skills. A NYC disaster movie meets&#8230; well, <em>something</em>. Hat tip to <a href="http://www.duke.edu/~mk81/">Mickey</a>.</p>
<p><object classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" width="580" height="360" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always" /><param name="src" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/d0dE23jVLXw&amp;hl=en_US&amp;fs=1&amp;rel=0&amp;color1=0x234900&amp;color2=0x4e9e00&amp;border=1" /><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true" /><embed type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="580" height="360" src="http://www.youtube.com/v/d0dE23jVLXw&amp;hl=en_US&amp;fs=1&amp;rel=0&amp;color1=0x234900&amp;color2=0x4e9e00&amp;border=1" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object></p>
]]></content:encoded>
			<wfw:commentRss>http://bytesizebio.net/index.php/2010/04/25/pixels/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Stupid Pi tricks for Pi Day</title>
		<link>http://bytesizebio.net/index.php/2010/03/14/pi-day-2010/</link>
		<comments>http://bytesizebio.net/index.php/2010/03/14/pi-day-2010/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 14 Mar 2010 06:59:22 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Iddo</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[funny]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mathematics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[math]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pi]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pi day]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://bytesizebio.net/?p=3447</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[π approximation script, from Stephen Chappell. import sys def pi(): a, b, c, d, e, f = 1, 0, 1, 1, 3, 3 while True: if a * 4 + b - c &#60; c * e: yield e a, b, c, d, e, f = a * 10, (b - c * e) * [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://bytesizebio.net/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/tufte-pie-chart.jpg"><img class="alignnone size-full wp-image-3453" title="tufte-pie-chart" src="http://bytesizebio.net/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/tufte-pie-chart.jpg" alt="" width="500" height="330" /></a></p>
<hr />
π approximation script, from <a href="http://code.activestate.com/recipes/users/2608421/">Stephen Chappell</a>.</p>
<pre class="brush:python">import sys
def pi():
    a, b, c, d, e, f = 1, 0, 1, 1, 3, 3
    while True:
        if a * 4 + b - c &lt; c * e:
            yield e
            a, b, c, d, e, f = a * 10, (b - c * e) * 10, c, d, ((a * 3 + b) * 10) // c - e * 10, f
        else:
            a, b, c, d, e, f = a * d, (a * 2 + b) * f, c * f, d + 1, ((d * 7 + 2) * a + b * f) // (c * f), f + 2

digit = pi()
sys.stdout.write("%d.%d" % (digit.next(), digit.next()))
if len(sys.argv) &lt; 2:
    prec = 5
else:
    prec = int(sys.argv[1]+1)
for i in range(prec):
    sys.stdout.write("%d" % digit.next())
print
</pre>
<p>To get Pi with a precision of 10 digits:</p>
<pre class="brush:shell">
python pi_approx.py 10
</pre>
<p>And here is <a href="http://en.literateprograms.org/Pi_with_Machin%27s_formula_%28Python%29">another script using Machin&#8217;s formula</a>.</p>
<hr />
<div id="attachment_3454" class="wp-caption alignnone" style="width: 586px"><a href="http://bytesizebio.net/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/Pi-unrolled-720.gif"><img class="size-full wp-image-3454" title="Pi-unrolled-720" src="http://bytesizebio.net/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/Pi-unrolled-720.gif" alt="" width="576" height="182" /></a><p class="wp-caption-text">Credit: wikimedia commons</p></div>
<hr />
<div id="attachment_3455" class="wp-caption alignnone" style="width: 390px"><a href="http://bytesizebio.net/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/PiPoster.jpg"><img class="size-full wp-image-3455" title="PiPoster" src="http://bytesizebio.net/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/PiPoster.jpg" alt="" width="380" height="587" /></a><p class="wp-caption-text">http://www.mathteacherstore.com/</p></div>
<hr />
<div id="attachment_3456" class="wp-caption alignnone" style="width: 376px"><a href="http://bytesizebio.net/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/brainfreeze_piday2008.jpg"><img class="size-full wp-image-3456" title="brainfreeze_piday2008" src="http://bytesizebio.net/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/brainfreeze_piday2008.jpg" alt="" width="366" height="326" /></a><p class="wp-caption-text">http://threesixty360.wordpress.com/2008/03/12/pi-day-sudoku/</p></div>
<hr />
]]></content:encoded>
			<wfw:commentRss>http://bytesizebio.net/index.php/2010/03/14/pi-day-2010/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Leonardo da Vinci&#8217;s Resume</title>
		<link>http://bytesizebio.net/index.php/2010/02/05/leonardo-da-vincis-resume/</link>
		<comments>http://bytesizebio.net/index.php/2010/02/05/leonardo-da-vincis-resume/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 05 Feb 2010 19:02:12 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Iddo</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[funny]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[history]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://bytesizebio.net/?p=3181</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Marketing yourself is a process you go through many times. The job hunt comes to mind &#8212; but not only. Academia is rife with self-marketing: grant applications, promotion &#38; tenure reports, attracting students to your courses and to your lab,  competing for conference lecture slots, giving a lecture. But not only academia, and not only [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Marketing yourself is a process you go through many times. The job hunt comes to mind &#8212; but not only. Academia is rife with self-marketing: grant applications, promotion &amp; tenure reports, attracting students to your courses and to your lab,  competing for conference lecture slots, giving a lecture.</p>
<p>But not only academia, and not only in the present day.</p>
<p><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leonardo_da_Vinci" target="_blank">Leonardo di ser Piero da Vinci</a> was, <a href="http://bytesizebio.net/index.php/2009/05/27/leonardo-da-vinci-and-the-f0-f1-atpase/" target="_blank">among many other things</a>, a civil and military engineer.  <a href="http://www.cenedella.com/stone/" target="_blank">Marc Cenedella</a> has this report on <a href="http://www.cenedella.com/stone/archives/2010/01/leonardo_da_vincis_resume.html" target="_blank">Da Vinci&#8217;s resume</a>, sent to the Duke of Milan, who apparently was in need of some military hardware.  The resume, such as it is, is truly a great piece of self-marketing. Note how LDV tailors his resume to the Duke&#8217;s needs. He does not list his artistic achievements (which were many by the time), but only those achievements and skills that fit his prospective employer&#8217;s interests. My observations are in <strong>boldface</strong>.</p>
<blockquote><p>&#8220;Most Illustrious Lord, Having now sufficiently considered the specimens of all those who proclaim themselves skilled contrivers of instruments of war, and that the invention and operation of the said instruments are nothing different from those in common use: I shall endeavor, without prejudice to any one else, to explain myself to your Excellency, showing your Lordship my secret, and then offering them to your best pleasure and approbation to work with effect at opportune moments on all those things which, in part, shall be briefly noted below.</p>
<p>1. I have a sort of extremely light and strong bridges, adapted to be most easily carried, and with them you may pursue, and at any time flee from the enemy; and others, secure and indestructible by fire and battle, easy and convenient to lift and place. Also methods of burning and destroying those of the enemy. <strong>[Before the legendary British WWII <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bailey_bridge" target="_blank">Bailey Bridge</a>]</strong></p>
<p>2. I know how, when a place is besieged, to take the water out of the trenches, and make endless variety of bridges, and covered ways and ladders, and other machines pertaining to such expeditions.</p>
<p>3. If, by reason of the height of the banks, or the strength of the place and its position, it is impossible, when besieging a place, to avail oneself of the plan of bombardment, I have methods for destroying every rock or other fortress, even if it were founded on a rock, etc.</p>
<p>4. Again, I have kinds of mortars; most convenient and easy to carry; and with these I can fling small stones almost resembling a storm; and with the smoke of these cause great terror to the enemy, to his great detriment and confusion. <strong>[Battlefield smoke].</strong></p>
<p>5. And if the fight should be at sea I have kinds of many machines most efficient for offense and defense; and vessels which will resist the attack of the largest guns and powder and fumes.</p>
<p>6. I have means by secret and tortuous mines and ways, made without noise, to reach a designated spot, even if it were needed to pass under a trench or a river.</p>
<p>7. I will make covered chariots, safe and unattackable, which, entering among the enemy with their artillery, there is no body of men so great but they would break them. And behind these, infantry could follow quite unhurt and without any hindrance. <strong>[Yes, LDV invented the tank! Note also the combined infantry / armor tactics].</strong></p>
<p>8.	In case of need I will make big guns, mortars, and light ordnance of fine and useful forms, out of the common type. <strong>[Not only can I do it, I can do it cheaply, by re-purposing your existing ordinance.]</strong></p>
<p>9. Where the operation of bombardment might fail, I would contrive catapults, mangonels, trabocchi, and other machines of marvelous efficacy and not in common use. And in short, according to the variety of cases, I can contrive various and endless means of offense and defense.</p>
<p>10. In times of peace I believe I can give perfect satisfaction and to the equal of any other in architecture and the composition of buildings public and private; and in guiding water from one place to another. <strong>[Dear Duke: you want to hire me even if you are not fighting, or you will want to keep me after your wars are over.]</strong></p>
<p>11. I can carry out sculpture in marble, bronze, or clay, and also I can do in painting whatever may be done, as well as any other, be he who he may. <strong>[Another peacetime skill.]</strong></p>
<p>Again, the bronze horse may be taken in hand, which is to be to the immortal glory and eternal honor of the prince your father of happy memory, and of the illustrious house of Sforza. <strong>[Catering to the employer's vanity. Gotta know how to do it right...]</strong></p>
<p>And if any of the above-named things seem to anyone to be impossible or not feasible, I am most ready to make the experiment in your park, or in whatever place may please your Excellency &#8211; to whom I comment myself with the utmost humility, etc.&#8221; <strong>[I realize make big claims, but I can back them up. Just get me an interview.]</strong></p></blockquote>
<p><a href="http://bytesizebio.net/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/tank_image1.jpg"><img class="size-full wp-image-3186 alignnone" title="tank_image1" src="http://bytesizebio.net/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/tank_image1.jpg" alt="" width="400" height="350" /></a></p>
<p><a href="http://news.ycombinator.com/user?id=edw519" target="_blank">edw513 </a>at Ycombinator.com has <a href="http://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=1086527" target="_blank">adapted</a> this resume to fit current market needs:</p>
<blockquote><p><span style="color: #000000;">If it worked for Leonardo da Vinci, maybe it could work for me.  The next time I&#8217;m looking for a job, I&#8217;ll try this:</span><span style="color: #000000;">&#8220;Most Illustrious Proprietor, Having now sufficiently considered the specimens of all those who proclaim themselves skilled developers of applications of business, and that the invention and operation of the said programs are nothing different from those in common use: I shall endeavor, without prejudice to any one else, to explain myself to your Company, showing your Management my secret, and then offering them to your best pleasure and approbation to work with effect at opportune moments on all those things which, in part, shall be briefly noted below.</span></p>
<p><span style="color: #000000;">1. I have a sort of extremely light and strong functions and modules, adapted to be most easily ftp&#8217;d, and with them you may pursue, and at any time combine them with others, secure and indestructible by standard mean time to failure of hardware and denial of service, easy and convenient to compile and catalog. Also methods of unzipping and storing the data of the customers.</span></p>
<p><span style="color: #000000;">2. I know how, when a website is besieged, to shard data onto the cloud, and make endless variety of mirrors, and fault tolerant disks and RAIDs, and other machines pertaining to such concerns.</span></p>
<p><span style="color: #000000;">3. If, by reason of the volume of the data, or the structure of the btrees and its indexes, it is impossible, when conducting a search, to avail oneself of sub-second response time, I have methods for benchmarking every process or other function, even if it were interpreted, etc.</span></p>
<p><span style="color: #000000;">4. Again, I have kinds of functions; most convenient and easy to ftp; and with these I can spawn lots of data almost resembling a torrent; and with the download of these cause great terror to the competitor, to his great detriment and confusion.</span></p>
<p><span style="color: #000000;">5. And if the processing should be on the desktop I have apps of many machines most efficient for data entry and reporting; and utilities which will satisfy the needs of the most demanding customers and users and consumers.</span></p>
<p><span style="color: #000000;">6. I have means by secret and tortuous scripts and modules, made without leaving tracks, to generate source code, even if it were needed to run on a client or a server.</span></p>
<p><span style="color: #000000;">7. I will make secure firewalls, safe and unattackable, which, entering among the hackers with their utilities, there is no body of crackers so great but they would break them. And behind these, software could run quite unhurt and without any hindrance.</span></p>
<p><span style="color: #000000;">8. In case of need I will make big properties, methods, and collections and useful forms, out of the common type.</span></p>
<p><span style="color: #000000;">9. Where the operation of compiling might fail, I would contrive scripts, functions, routines, and other parameter driven processes of marvellous efficacy and not in common use. And in short, according to the variety of cases, I can contrive various and endless means of data entry, reporting, and storage.</span></p>
<p><span style="color: #000000;">10. In times of low revenue I believe I can give perfect satisfaction and to the equal of any other in maintenance and the refactoring of code public and private; and in guiding data from one warehouse to another.</span></p>
<p><span style="color: #000000;">11. I can carry out code in Javascript, PHP, or C, and also I can do in network administration whatever may be done, as well as any other, be he who he may.</span></p>
<p><span style="color: #000000;">Again, the intranet app may be taken in hand, which is to be to the immortal glory and eternal honor of all your customers of happy memory, and of the illustrious house of Google.</span></p>
<p><span style="color: #000000;">And if any of the above-named things seem to anyone to be impossible or not feasible, I am most ready to make the experiment in your data center, or in whatever place may please your Businessperson &#8211; to whom I comment myself with the utmost humility, etc.&#8221;</span></p></blockquote>
]]></content:encoded>
			<wfw:commentRss>http://bytesizebio.net/index.php/2010/02/05/leonardo-da-vincis-resume/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>All theories proven with one graph</title>
		<link>http://bytesizebio.net/index.php/2010/02/02/all-theories-proven-with-one-graph/</link>
		<comments>http://bytesizebio.net/index.php/2010/02/02/all-theories-proven-with-one-graph/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 02 Feb 2010 20:06:42 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Iddo</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[funny]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://bytesizebio.net/?p=3175</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Boys and girls, it can be done. Published in the Journal of Irreproducible Results (Where else?)]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Boys and girls, it can be done. Published in the <a href="http://jir.com/graph_contest/index.html">Journal of Irreproducible Results</a> (Where else?)</p>
<p><a href="http://jir.com/graph_contest/index.html"><img class="alignnone size-full wp-image-3176" title="OneGraph" src="http://bytesizebio.net/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/OneGraph.jpg" alt="" width="512" height="512" /></a></p>
]]></content:encoded>
			<wfw:commentRss>http://bytesizebio.net/index.php/2010/02/02/all-theories-proven-with-one-graph/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
	</channel>
</rss>
